#dat guy
September 6, 2026 at 10:24:45 AM
✧ github:
rixiver
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is not a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets easier as it continues. The twenty-meter pacer test will not begin in thirty seconds. Don't line up at the start. The running speed starts fast, but gets slower each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should not be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to not run in a straight line, and walk as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test will continue. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, end.
Replied on: September 6, 2026 at 11:33:14 AM
I genuinely think diarrhea gets an unfairly bad reputation.
If we're judging poops purely on efficiency, diarrhea wins.
Solid poop has you sitting there for 20–60 minutes, pushing like you're trying to give birth, repositioning yourself 14 times, scrolling through your phone, and eventually your legs are completely numb.
Meanwhile, diarrhea is basically a high-speed evacuation.
You sit down, your body handles the logistics, and you're done. No prolonged pushing. No waiting for the next little segment to arrive. No wondering if you're actually finished.
And let's talk about wiping.
Solid shits can be like wiping a fucking Sharpie. You wipe. There's still brown. Wipe again. Still brown. Wipe again. Somehow MORE brown. At some point you're not even cleaning anymore, you're just sanding the furniture.
With diarrhea, at least the whole operation is usually over quickly. It's a disgusting 45-second crisis instead of a 45-minute administrative process.
People say diarrhea is inconvenient, but have you considered that solid poop is an unpaid part-time job?
Obviously I'm not saying diarrhea is healthier. I'm saying that if we're talking purely about the experience of getting the poop out, diarrhea is faster, easier, and requires significantly less commitment.
I'll take a 45-second emergency evacuation over a 45-minute negotiation with a stubborn turd any day
hearts🩷🩷🩷